Bhunt-alina in all her glory! - 18 weeks & 4 days old
It was no secret that I was hoping for Bhunt to be a boy. Not that I don't want a girl; more that I've just always wanted a boy. There's a difference, in my head. But once I got over a slight twinge of sadness that a Mama's Boy (and a Hot Wheels themed room) was not to be, then I started to get a bit excited about what is to come. Tea parties! Barbie dolls! Prom dresses! (that's literally all the girly stuff I came up with in that moment).
But I honestly could not fight the little bit of nervousness that was welling up in me as I thought of the more trepidating aspects that come with a daughter. As I sat in mid-musing, I recalled a speech given by the Father of the Bride at a recent wedding I attended. He spoke of all the words that came to mind as a father reflecting on having raised a daughter. There were the expected: love, hope, expectation... but the overwhelming word he recalls during all of his daughters life was FEAR. "It might as well have been tatooed across my forehead!". Those were his exact words.
I am sure most of us will agree, daughters bring a fear like no son will. We all either are one, have one or know one. So, whether we're conscious of it or not, this "fear" is known to all of us in some way, shape or form. I just happen to be VERY aware of my fear and am stating it out loud! I won't lie, having dealt with "mother/daughter" conflicts all my life is probably a big reason I was hoping for a boy. Easiest way to avoid the known fears and conflicts? Have a boy! But now that I've had a few days to dwell on it, I've accepted this fear as natural and healthy to some extent. The need for a father to own a rifle when his daughter becomes a teenager? Natural, right? The tween learning her boundaries amidst cries of "I hate you, Mom!", wailing sobs and slamming of doors? Healthy, right? Kidding. Slightly. But these inexplicable only-with-a-daughter tales, I am sure, serve a purpose of which to enrich and enhance the bonds between father/mother and daughter. Right? I think, I hope, I pray so!
I remember having discussions with Miss M in our college days about how we thought the world needed better men and we were going to help solve that by raising good sons. Well, now that I'm on the verge of raising a daughter, I realize that, while it has it's unique challenges that I may not always look forward to, the world needs us to raise good women too. So I embrace this coming challenge. And take my place in the sisterhood of mothers with daughters, God help us!
As John Mayer sang, "Fathers, be good to your daughters. Cuz daughters will love like you do. Girls become mothers who turn into lovers. So MOTHERS, be good to your daughters too."
But I honestly could not fight the little bit of nervousness that was welling up in me as I thought of the more trepidating aspects that come with a daughter. As I sat in mid-musing, I recalled a speech given by the Father of the Bride at a recent wedding I attended. He spoke of all the words that came to mind as a father reflecting on having raised a daughter. There were the expected: love, hope, expectation... but the overwhelming word he recalls during all of his daughters life was FEAR. "It might as well have been tatooed across my forehead!". Those were his exact words.
I am sure most of us will agree, daughters bring a fear like no son will. We all either are one, have one or know one. So, whether we're conscious of it or not, this "fear" is known to all of us in some way, shape or form. I just happen to be VERY aware of my fear and am stating it out loud! I won't lie, having dealt with "mother/daughter" conflicts all my life is probably a big reason I was hoping for a boy. Easiest way to avoid the known fears and conflicts? Have a boy! But now that I've had a few days to dwell on it, I've accepted this fear as natural and healthy to some extent. The need for a father to own a rifle when his daughter becomes a teenager? Natural, right? The tween learning her boundaries amidst cries of "I hate you, Mom!", wailing sobs and slamming of doors? Healthy, right? Kidding. Slightly. But these inexplicable only-with-a-daughter tales, I am sure, serve a purpose of which to enrich and enhance the bonds between father/mother and daughter. Right? I think, I hope, I pray so!
I remember having discussions with Miss M in our college days about how we thought the world needed better men and we were going to help solve that by raising good sons. Well, now that I'm on the verge of raising a daughter, I realize that, while it has it's unique challenges that I may not always look forward to, the world needs us to raise good women too. So I embrace this coming challenge. And take my place in the sisterhood of mothers with daughters, God help us!
As John Mayer sang, "Fathers, be good to your daughters. Cuz daughters will love like you do. Girls become mothers who turn into lovers. So MOTHERS, be good to your daughters too."
Beautiful Gillian! Thank you for putting down these thoughts! You made me cry with the end part there! We are starting to move slowly and with great nervousness into the slamming doors stage! Already! Good reminders there at the end especially! ~Martha
ReplyDeleteI loved your thoughts. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Gill, you really have a way with words. I love this. You're going to be a fantastic, patient, understanding, and approachable mother. I just know it.
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